Ode to the Anxious
“One of the saddest things that happens with creativity… I think sometimes it isn’t expressed because of fear. Everyone is born very, very, very creative, but at some point it can be scary to try to do something new, that feels different. In tech, everyone is so serious all the time, and has these grand visions. But we really enjoy that people like having fun, and want to be happy, and enjoy being with one another: That’s just as important.”
My last photo with one of my two cats, Monet, who is a feral Siamese and crosseyed. She's working on the photogenic part.
As I'm sitting in the Amsterdam airport, I'm pretty anxious for Ghana. The "Bethany-has-zero-chill" feeling has fizzled. I've read numerous books and articles about artists and entrepreneurs traveling abroad and finding their calling. As for Ghana, I know working and living there will solidify the power behind my calling for design for social good. Taken in the right perspective with a strong dose of self-awareness, my restlessness can be a blessing, not a curse.
After more than a year of preparing for this new life, I'm now back at square one: facing my peers, my investors and advisers who are betting on my success and whom I refuse to disappoint. My family, who have been completely supportive of my vision for living abroad, have never thought I was foolish for giving up my ridiculously fantastic job as a designer for branding strategy at Calvin College (and a small startup to the side), only to invest in something so risky. To succeed is to move the needle forward. Constantly. I want to master presence in Ghana so that I'm not distracted by my type-A workaholic brain, so that I may learn intuitively and perform my best. As my presence is being improved I want to learn how to be resilient, cope with setbacks better and to harness my attention and focus.
Uncertainty = Excitement + Growth
I'm slowly beginning to realize that embracing uncertainty and cultivating a deeper awareness of my habits will lead me to the right entrepreneurial path for my design work. This journey of living in Africa needs to be not just something I did, but who I am, and ultimately, who I’ll become in the months it would take to design for a non-profit—to sustain who they are and why they are the makers of tomorrow.
So here's to us, anxious explorers.